Sunday, May 28, 2006

Basic Shaving

Here is the basic equipment (minus mug or backordered scuttle): straight razor, badger bristle shave brush and the SIX DOLLAR shave cream from Target.
Dig this serious Flintstone-like stubble action.
We wet the brush with water as hot as can be.
Just a dab'll do ya.
A few seconds with a searingly hot, soppingly wet towel can do wonders.

If one is mug-less, one can just whip up the lather in the palm of one's hand.

Smear the face with the very hot, tingly lather. (Greetings Google pervs!)

Get good coverage.
And start!
DO NOT EVER BEAR DOWN ON THE BLADE. (Unless you think your cheek looks better detached from your face, or are practicing to perform tracheotomies on rhinos) Light touch. You can hear the blade cutting off whiskers with a "plink." Sorta like "Horton Hears A Who." Make idiotic faces.
Almost done.
Newborn smooth. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Here I go again.

I'm a-tell you a story.

About 10 years ago, when I first started making some money, I got into Home Theatre stuff. After all, I had been (still am) a film geek, and the progression seemed natural. So, being the geek I am, I began to research things...what TV? What speakers? That sorta stuff.

My main source of joy in those days was a magazine called Home Theater Technology and my favorite writer thereat a truly hilarious, gifted writer named Corey Greenberg. His reviews of gear were generally dead-on (my BiL dropped major bank on a Martin-Logan 5.1 speaker setup on CG's say-so) but, basically he was/is a really, really funny writer.

In those days HTT (now it's just HT, but whatever) ran a column called "Gee-Gawd" about small but useful gadgets, and, um, gee-gaws, which I loved. So I rummage online to see if these might be available anywhere (they don't seem to be) and that led me to find that CG has neatly moved over from HT guru to shave guru.

The combination of my own vanity and my delight in reading hilarious prose have allowed my inner geek to embrace the wetshaving perspective on men's grooming. To quote the lovely and gracious Poppy, "I mean, there's nothing we geeks like better than having to master an entirely new world of arcane knowledge with its own aesthetic."

I wasn't a complete nimrod, shave-wise. I have a shave mug with shave soap and a for-real badger brush; I can actually get a great shave with a straight razor...but with two little kids running around, having something that is closer to a surgical implement than a grooming device may be seen as unwise by some. Like, say, my wife. I even have an old Gillette Adjustable Safety Razor hand-me-down.

To me, where a geek blossoms is in knowing a steal. I mean, any idiot can rave about a new Ferrari F430...only the cognoscenti can wax lyrical on an Alfa Romeo TZ. Same with, say, shaving. It takes no special genius to point out the most expensive of something, but it requires talent to find the hidden gems.

So here I am, comparing shaving creams, razors. Determining what setting on the Gillette Adjustable corresponds with which blade (the Euro Gillette blades are a 5, the Israeli Personna a 7), how to maximize lather and all that good stuff.

SO MUCH TO LEARN AND OBSESS ABOUT!

-J.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Go. Read. Now.